at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
