There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
