my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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