That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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