There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You left your phone here
Wait...
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