Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
