Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
