I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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