last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
