Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i will never coherently bang her
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
