hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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