i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
