Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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