It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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