I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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