first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
