but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
