Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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