My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He kissed a someone with a penis
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize