Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
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