my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
