remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
