Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
