please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize