I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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