We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
