ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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