Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
