Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
