and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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