stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I didn't notice because vodka
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
