We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize