yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
