I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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