Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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