Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
