I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
