been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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