I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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