Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
