my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
