I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize