I don't usually arrange sex via text message
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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