how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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