I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
