He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
