that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
