went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
