He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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