It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
