Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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