i don't like sucking hair
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
