just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize