I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
