you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize