watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
