My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize