Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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