I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
