worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
