Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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