Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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