found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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