At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize