There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Never let your siblings swipe right.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
