I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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