sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
