return my video game
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize