I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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