I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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