Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
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