VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
